The Birds lost and Christmas is ruined so I don’t feel like writing a whole lot, so I’m gonna keep these short.
Packers @ Dolphins (Phins -2.5 O/U 46.5)
I don’t know about this one. Like, I get that both of these teams are more than capable of scoring a lot, but this sure does feel like a 24-17 kind of game doesn’t it? Yeah, the Dolphins had a lot of offense against the Bills, but that game was kinda fucked. We’ve seen the Dolphins get shut down when they played against the Chargers, and I think that’s a possibility again here.
I’m not going to count on the Packers doing much of anything on offense because they haven’t really done much of anything on offense for the past 3 months, however, I’m still afraid of Aaron in December so I’m not going to make a play on the spread.
U 46.5
Broncos @ Rams (Broncos -3 O/U 36.5)
They’re both an absolute garbage pail of a team with a total weirdo doofus as a quarterback and defenses that are a whole shitload better than their offenses. I’m not entirely sure what unit of measurement I should use, but if I had to choose one, I would say that the Broncos are less Dipshitty than the Rams.
Baker’s going to have a hard time getting the ball to his receivers because that Broncos' defense is straight-up nasty. They’ll also have a hard time running the ball because they’re the Rams.
The Broncos’ offense will make everything look like a chore and watching this game will be exhausting, unless you watch it on Nickelodeon, then it will be one of the best slapstick comedy performances of this century.
Broncos -3
Buccaneers @ Cardinals (Buccs -8 O/U 40.5)
Trace McSorely.
U 40.5