‘22-’23 Record: 7-6
Last Sunday was kind of stinky. Yeah, I went 3-0 on my bets, but like, the games just weren’t very fun. After the Birds won, the afternoon slate was just full of stinkers. Geno and Mariota somehow ran the most competitive 60 minutes. Then we got Russ and Jimmy doing some more lame shit. And you can top that off with Daniel Jones and Copper Rush absolutely not doing anything for 45 minutes on Monday night. It kind of felt gross.
This week has some bangers. Bangers for sure.
If last week was a stinky poop, this weekend has the makings to be a baby wipe or even a bidet. It’s gonna be a real palate cleanser, of sorts. And it starts off with a team that’s 3-0 SU and ATS playing against a team that is 1-2 SU and ATS. If you would’ve asked me a month ago about which team was which, I would’ve called it Bengals being 3-0 and Dolphins being 1-2.
Not so fast my friend. It’s quite the opposite.
Turns out the Bengals aren’t just having a Superbowl Hangover, but instead they are having a Superbowl Aneurysm. And the Dolphins? SHEESH. Tua’s head is full of mashed potatoes and he still won against the Bills.
Dolphins @ Bengals (Bengals -4, O/U 47.5)
Uhhh. Excuse?
The Bengals beat the Jets. That’s it.
The Bengals covered against the Jets. That’s it.
Dude, they lost to fucking COOPER RUSH.
Yeah, they haven’t had a touchdown scored on them in 7 Quarters, but those 7 Quarters were against Joe Flacco and COOPER RUSH.
Why on Earth are they laying 4 points? Am I dumb? Are the books dumb? Am I falling into a trap?
All of those answers are probably “yes”.
Here’s the deal, since the extra point distance moved back in 2015, roughly 14% of games have been decided by 3 points. If you’re going to give me a whole other point on top of that for a Dolphins team that has been far and away more dominant than the Bengals? Yeah, dude, I’m in.
I don’t get this line whatsoever and I’m probably a sucker for taking it.
That being said, I bet this a 3:45 pm on Tuesday, and if this line moves for me? Well then shit guys, I a fucking genius.
Let’s start this week off on the right foot.
Dolphins +4.
Just saying that, feels dirty.