‘22-’23 Record: 10-9
As a certified sweat boy, I absolutely LOVED that Thursday night game. As an anti-DangeRuss guy, I absolutely LOVED that Thursday night game. It was truly remarkable and I hope no one ever has to watch anything like that ever again because it was one of the worst 3 and a half hours of my life. It’s just below the Catholic Wedding I went to 5 years ago. It was the summer, the church only had 2 box fans, and they had to turn those off because they were too loud to hear the ceremony. That was the worst.
Giants @ Packers @ London (Packers -7.5, O/U 41.5)
This is the first time we’ve sent two teams that are over .500 to London. This is also gonna be up there with one of the worst-played games in London.
Daniel Jones is gonna start this game. He has a sprained ankle and his only redeeming quality is his ability to run the ball kind of well. And he’s starting with a sprained ankle.
That makes sense because their other option is… I don’t know. I guess maybe Jake Fromm? Someone else who doesn’t know the offense?
Fuck it. A hurt Daniel Jones it is.
The only thing that can help them on offense is Saquon, and that’ll be easy enough for the Packers to shut down.
The Giants' Defense is ass.
The Packers have so much, but not much on offense. They’ve got receivers who can ball, but a quarterback who has more trust issues than a street dog. We’ve seen Rdgers and the WRs click a little more every week, and this match-up against a bunch of Giants’ DB nobodies seems like a good time for them to keep it going.
The Packers' defense is solid. They should be solid enough to take care of the single threat of Saquon.
Packers -7.5
Lions @ Patriots (Patriots -3, O/U 45.5)
Turns out that when Dan Campbell told his team they were going to drag people into the water and drown them, he was talking to just his offense.
The Lions score. That’s all the Lions do. Their defense is like that video of that 1000-year-old guy scoring during a flag football game. They do nothing to stop anyone from scoring, but they can use anyone to score.
The Patriots are starting some guy who was very clearly bullied with Bailey Zappe. Don’t worry about him though, I’m sure he’ll ball out because anyone can against Detroit.
I just don’t think it’s going to be enough to cover 3.
That 3 points might push, that’s why we have 2 plays here
Lions +3, O 45.5
49ers @ Panthers (49ers -6.5, O/U 39.5)
The Panthers are gross all around. CMC is either currently broken, or in the process of breaking. Baker is throwing the ball like he’s playing 500 and really wants no one to catch the ball so can be the only guy who throws the ball. Matt Rhule is a pudgy turd. And their defense is gritty.
The 49ers have a good coach, a mediocre QB, great receivers, and an awesome defense.
I know a total of 39.5 points is low, but I don’t think it’s low enough. This game has the makings for a 24-10 final score.
U 39.5
Bengals @ Ravens (Ravens -3.5, O/U 48)
This is purely a Primetime Under play. Nothing special about it. 48 is high. These 2 teams aren’t great and it’s an AFC North divisional game.
U 48