In middle school, there was a kid in a motorized wheelchair that was kind of a dickhead. I think his name was Clark or something dickish like that.
It was 2005 and everyone wanted to be a skateboarder because skateboarding was (and still is) rad. No one actually could actually skateboard, but if you asked any of us we would tell you that we were the next Bob Burnquist. The important thing is that you never put yourself in a situation where skateboarding was an option because then everyone knew that you were a poser. Being called a poser was one step higher than shitting your pants in the hallway; straight-up disgraceful, shameful, and downright deplorable.
Clark would spend his days rolling his happy ass through the hallways, bumping his metal chair of pain into everyone’s ankles, and booking people then blaming it on other people knowing that he wouldn’t get in trouble because he’s in a wheelchair and no teacher had the stones to fuck with that. Clark was a little fuck.
One day Clark put an Etnies bumper sticker on the back of his wheelchair and I couldn’t let this piece of shit get away with that.
That’s the story of how I got suspended from middle school for telling everyone that a kid with Muscular Dystrophy was a poser because he couldn’t skateboard.
That was disgusting, but the pick for tonight? It has me feeling downright filthy.
Ravens @ Dolphins
Ravens -7.5, O/U 46.5
Hey man, the Ravens aren't covering these big spreads. They’re 0-4 this year when they’re 6.5+ point favorites. They were favorites that big against the Lions, Colts, Bengals, and Titans. I don’t care what the final score was, but they lost that game to the Lions, which means they lost 2 of those games outright. It just seems like if the Ravens were for real, then I wouldn’t have to ask myself, “Are the Ravens for real?”
The Dolphins are bad, but I don’t trust the Ravens.
Dolphins +7.5, Begrudgingly.