I feel like I’m a pretty outspoken child hater and I’m a big fan of parents admitting they regret their kids. The newest chronicle to this saga was when I was at the doctor's on Tuesday. The Nurse/Tech/Person-who-owns-scrubs brought me into the room and was asking me the general questions.
“Do you have kids?” Asked the Nurse
“No” Jake laughed.
“Any plans?”
“Absolutely not”
“Is your wife on board with that?”
At this point, I wondered why she was sticking with this line of questioning so much, but I’m a fan of this conversation so I obliged.
“Definitely”
“That’s good…”
The nurse paused and stopped typing. She turned her head and said,
“You know, I love my daughter. She’s 14, but if I was able to do it over again...”
“Don’t you dare say it. Don’t you say it and make my goddammed day. If you say what I think you’re going to say you’re the worst mom in the world. You’ve had 14 years to reflect on everything your daughter has done, and if you say what I think you’re going to say, you’re going to truly mean it and be a terrible parent” Jake thought to himself.
The Nurse continued, “I would DEFINITELY not have kids”
Fuck them kids and fuck Dallas.
Cowboys @ Saints
Cowboys -4.5, O/U 47.5
I, for one, am incredibly interested to see what the “Acting Head Coach” version of Dan Quinn will look like. Will we get the animated, outspoken, and “fuck” fueled Dan Quinn that Hard Knocks gave us a look at? Will we get sad Danny Q? Will we get a version of Dan Quinn that is lost on the sideline, the way most acting head coaches look?
Probably none of those, unfortunately. Kellen Moore is still calling the plays and the camera is going to focus on his freakishly boyish face, and they’ll be winning this game by quite a bit.
It’s Taysom’s first game as a starter this year, which is pretty neat. We saw what he was able to do last year, and he looked pretty good. HE looked pretty good. Himself. Just him. The rest of the team was cheeks when Taysom played, and that was with Michael Thomas.
Now he has nothing. He’s fucked.
The Saints’ offense is not going to be able to answer what the Cowboys are going to be doing on offense, and Micah Parsons is gonna go ham on defense.
Cowboys -4.5.
And I hate it. I hate all of it.