Jets @ Vikings (Vikings -3, O/U 44.5)
I don’t hate Kirk. I don’t like Kirk, but I don’t hate Kirk.
Yeah, I’ve been on record saying that he looks like he never fully recovered from a time when he was in high school and his sister told everyone that she caught him cranking to tentacle porn and it humiliated him for 4 years.
I still do think that’s true, but I don’t hate him.
It’s looking like he’s going to have one of those really bad Kirk days on Sunday.
Kirk is one of those guys who is just an absolute statue in the pocket who plays worse and worse when he gets more and more pressure on him. That’s a big problem for him because the Jets do this thing where they get crazy amounts of pressure on quarterbacks without blitzing.
There are only 2 teams that blitz less than the Jets and there are only 4 teams that get more pressure. That’s pretty impressive.
Then you throw on a Sauce Gardner shadow on Jefferson.
SHEESH.
Jets +3
Broncos @ Ravens (Ravens -9.5, O/U 39.5)
We’re gonna ride the Unders in Broncos games all season. They’re 10-1 to the under and they probably don’t have any completely healthy receivers, not that it would matter.
Under 39.5
Seahawks @ Rams (Seahawks -7, O/U 41)
The Rams are bad, but are they 7 points bad? Maybe. Actually, probably, but it’s a big number so I don’t like it.
The Seahawks still have something to play for, and I think that’s really going to show in this game.
So we’re gonna tease it.
Chargers @ Raiders (Raiders -2.5, O/U 49.5)
A couple of things going into this one:
The Raiders have only won games by 2 scores twice, and those were against the Broncos (yuck) and the Texans (who gives a shit). Oh, and also, they’ve only won 4 games, so they’re done.
I think there might be 4 people total on both of these teams that are good. You could convince me there are 5, but you’d have to bribe me.
Let’s tease this guy too.
6 point teaser Seahawks -1 Chargers +8.5
Colts @ Cowboys (Cowboys -10.5, O/U 44)
They should’ve flexed this out of Primetime.
I have no feel for this game whatsoever, but what I do have is an incredible bias against the Cowboys.
Colts +10.5, hopefully it goes back up to 11 by kickoff.